Maybe I'm not good at pretending

Maybe my issue with LA is that I'm not good at pretending.

Most people here, well, many move to LA to become actors.

And the culture supports that.

We pretended for a LONG time that the economy was good when it wasn't.

Only recently did Angelinos start to talk about how terrible the economy was. That's how I knew things were getting worse, not better. Because normally happy people were finally admitting they were sad, depressed, or just plain broke.

Angelinos are great at pretending.

Pretending they have money by driving that fancy car.

When in reality they are in massive credit card debt and can't afford lunch much less than Beemer they are driving.

Pretending they are rich when they aren't by wearing expensive clothes, shoes or handbags.

Oh well.

Things will get better.

But in LA it may not happen for a while...

Will things get better?

Life in LA is hard right now.

Thankfully, the raging fire is almost contained. But water mains are breaking all over the city. We're in a major drought. The economy bites.

More layoffs are coming and yet, for some reason, housing prices here are still insane.

I have a few friends who make GOOD money. And they can only afford to buy places in the valley. No offense but I just could not live in the valley. I rather move back to Connecticut. Between the smog and heat and general craziness of the people there, it just doesn't make sense for me. And it's not like places in the valley are *that* much cheaper or bigger or nicer than the west side. Ok, well maybe people move to the valley because they can afford a house there and not on the west side - so the houses in the valley are bigger and nicer than what you would get on the west side for the same money ($500-600K in the valley vs. $1 million for the same thing on the west side). Frankly, I rather move to Orange County. It's newer and nicer and cleaner and the public schools are better. (er, that's in the off chance I actually get married and have kids)...

Argh.

How can real estate prices still be SO high when so many people are out of work? Am I the only one who thinks it's insane that crappy, small, one bedroom condos with a view of another building are a rip-off at $300-400K??

Maybe everyone sane moved out of LA already...

And the entire entertainment industry is messed up. I feel like it will not recover.

Oh well.

I feel stuck.

It's amazing to me that the only people that regularly read and comment on my facebook status updates are friends from high school. I hate to say it but I just don't think people in LA care. Or maybe they all already have their own circle of friends that they care about. I've cut a LOT of people out in my life here in LA and I have no regrets about that. Flaky, self-absorbed "friends" are not friends worth having.

Why am I still here?

I don't know.

I honestly don't.

I guess if I had some help I would move but for now it's just easier to stay here, stuck, than to make some massive move cross country to Florida or back home.

Anyone want to help??

I mean, my friend said, "it's a GLOBAL recession. It's going to suck anywhere you go..."

But still, I can't help but wonder, if I couldn't find at least one or two friends if I lived somewhere else that had more free time and were more caring and giving than people here.

Status update!

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last entry!

I seem to be doing better than a few other friend's blogs I read though - they haven't posted anything in 5-6 months - come on people! I just keep my blog page open in Firefox as a reminder to write something every now and again.

I'm kinda surprised my blog hasn't exploded like in "Julie & Julia" - hmm, should I state that I am going to bake my way through the ENTIRE Mrs. Fields cookbook to get more followers? Would anyone care? Er, probably not.

Anyhow, hello to all my friends reading this (and the lurkers too!)

What's everyone been up to?

Well, here in LA we've had the city's worst fire. It's on its way to being contained. Lucky for me some water main broke last Friday while I was mid-shower. Running out of water with soap and conditioner in your hair is fun fun!!!

In more happy news, I took a road trip last week to Monterey. Had a BLAST. Monterey is just the cleanest, most charming little town! I had some of the best pizza I've had in my life (veggie slices) with a great small salad to boot! The town may shut down at 10pm but at least there is still amazing pizza for late night travelers like myself.

My hotel was sweeeet - I got a great deal bidding using priceline.com - woot woot! The room was normally $130-180 a night but because I used priceline and it was a Mon/Tues night plan, I got the room for $80 plus tax. It was walking distance to downtown Monterey.

I spent the next day at the Aquarium. Used my first "dual flush" toilet. Loved that the aquarium was so environmentally friendly. It's rated the 3rd best tourist attraction in the U.S. for kids and I can see why - kids didn't scream or yell. I was impressed. I guess between the sea otters and jellyfish and sharks the kids were too mesmerized to cry or complain.

The weather was blissfully perfect. Literally just perfect weather. And the air so fresh! I had forgotten what fresh air smelled like.

I'm pretty sure Monterey is about the most perfect place to live. Of course, it must get pretty cloudy/rainy/cold there in the winter but the days I visited it was just perfect.

The next day I hit Carmel-by-the-sea. Beautiful beach. Shops were quaint, if a bit geared towards 50+ something rich snooty people. Still, the beach was almost devoid of seaweed. I wondered how this could be. Is Carmel so rich that someone goes around scooping up all the seaweed?

I also found a delightful coffee shop that had one of the tastiest apple strudels I've had. Ah. I'm old enough to retire there, right??

Overall, I can't say enough great things about Monterey. The drive to and from up and down PCH is also some of the most breathtaking road I've ever driven. I had to concentrate to prevent myself from driving off a cliff as the sunsets and ocean were so breathtakingly beautiful.

Otherwise, not really much is new.

Seems people in my industry keep getting fired / not hired by the day.

Is there any future in the music business?

I'm beginning to think not.

A lot of people are still employed - but for many, the jobs will not come back.

I knew it was too good to be true - people getting paid to choose music for movies and TV shows.

Oh well.

So what's next?

Teaching would be a good option except I'm pretty sure the state is broke. And public schools pay $20K a year, right?

I wish I could get a job watching reality TV shows. I'm good at that (and no, not the uber-crappy VH1 ones but the good ones like "Top Chef" and "The Amazing Race" and "The Bachelor" :)

So maybe I should just invent a "sham wow" and go from there :)

Has anyone "defriended" you on facebook?

Ha, so in my continuing saga of crazy people in LA, I noticed that 2 of my ex-friends have defriended me on facebook. Actually, 1 on facebook and one on facebook & twitter.

Wow.

Anyhow, I find it amusing and a bit ironic that the person that went crazy, yelling at ME for no reason, would defriend me. Wow, really? I believe that's what we call "delusional". Why is it that when you try to help someone, you're the one that somehow ends up feeling like they did something wrong? Oh yeah. Because "friends" in the entertainment business know the lame trick of "pass the blame" to escape responsibility when they dropped the ball. Oooh that's so clever. I'm at fault and a bad person because you f'd up. Riiiight....anyhow, back to reality....

And the other ex-friend?

Well, she might have more of a reason to be pissed.

Sure, not too long ago we were such good friends that we went on vacation together. Hell, she took the photo that is my facebook profile photo...and while on vacation, she was super sweet and amazing. But that was while we were out of LA and I was a guest on vacation in her home state.

What I just couldn't deal with anymore was the constant reminder than any conversation we had was 95% about her and 5% about me. Yeah, sweetie, friendships are 2 way streets. And really, I don't mind listening to you talk a lot. I talk a lot to other friends so I figure it all balances out!

Yet what I DO mind is when I listen to someone talk for hours and then they suddenly have to get off the phone when it's your turn to chat or share your thoughts, ideas, problems, etc.

Friendship is a two way street.

Sure, many friendships may be unbalanced.

I know I have friends where they probably listen to me and are there for me WAY more than I am there for them (sorry Michael ;) But then I do that for other friends and so the cycle continues...

And when you compound that with a friend who rarely wants to go out because they are constantly tired, poor and depressed, well, how would you deal with a friendship like that?

And then you get yelled at when you don't invite a friend out to a party on a school night when you know they go to bed at 8pm most nights. Yes, 8pm. Or 9pm. And they bitch about everything so why would you invite them to a party on a school night where there would likely be "no hot guys" for your friend to talk to and then you'd just have to listen to her bitch the whole night about it. No, I chose to take a happier, more cheerful friend to the party. Hmmm. So sue me.

No fun.

And then they defriend ME? Yeah ok.

I am actually happier these days having less friends in my life but not being flaked on and not having to listen to someone else's crap for hours only to have them turn a deaf ear when I need a shoulder to cry on. And not having to be around someone's crummy attitude all the time. Hey, I guess it's a good thing I'm not married, eh? ;)

What do you think?

Why are there so many crazies in LA?

At this point in my life, I've pretty much given up the thought of making any new girlfriends.

Sure, many of the friends I've made over the years, both men and women, have been through the entertainment business.

And lately, it seems, I keep cutting out the women in my life.

They are too flakey, too depressed, too self-absorbed, too crazy or too weird.

It wasn't always this way.

And sure, I still have some great women in my life. And perhaps have made a new friend or two recently - so we'll see.

And yes, those 2 new girlfriends (status pending) do not work in entertainment. And they seem really nice and normal and down to earth.

It's odd but I'm finally coming to terms with and accepting this fact.

It's better to be alone, to have few friends, or even no friends, than to have flakey, self-absorbed, crazy friends.

There are always exceptions to the rule.

Maybe this is just what happens when you get older. In any city.

I shouldn't blame Los Angeles.

I just think that Los Angeles has always attracted strange people.

Like when I spoke at an intern panel at a local university.

The most "normal" students, sad to say it, even at a panel on the entertainment industry, went to talk to the recruiter who was hiring interns in the legal department at the studio.

I got the weirder ones.

Oh well.

It is what it is.

Finding people that care about you. Maybe that's difficult anywhere.

I'd have far less friends somewhere else.

Perhaps at the end of the day it's not at all about quantity but quality. I should be lucky to have 2-3 good friends in Los Angeles. The other 20-30 "friends"? Even though we used to hang out or talk on a regular basis. They get married or move away or just plain lose interest. People move on in their lives.

Maybe it's time for me to do the same.

I've come to a great conclusion

I've come to a great conclusion.

That, at this point in my life, it's going to be very hard to make any new, "normal" friends in LA.

It's sad but true.

Sure, LA isn't exactly a breeding ground for "normal" people.

I mean, people don't move to LA to fall in love and raise a family.

No, they move here to pursue their "dream".

Their dream of being a rock star. Or managing one.

Or writing a screenplay.

Or making a movie.

Etc., etc.

And with the cost of housing, gas, and the extremely HIGH unemployment rate, I fear anyone with any sanity has since gotten married, moved further away (other states, or at least the outskirts of Los Angeles), ya know.

Anyhow, I'm not sure where I went wrong, if anywhere.

Seems I've been focused on my career and all of a sudden, everyone has moved away - or gotten married and had kids.

Ok, not everyone.

But a LOT of people.

I wish I could settle.

I really do.

Because being single in LA, especially these days, is tough.

All my friends are insanely busy working 24/7.

Or not mentally "all there".

And hey, maybe it's hard to keep your sanity in this city.

I mean, my view is of a concrete wall.

Growing up in Connecticut, at least I had a view of trees and grass.

Perhaps you get to a point where you're too old to live in the city...

Where I'll end up in anyone's guess.

For now, it may just be somewhere with an ocean view.

People need to calm the #$@# down!

Ok, I understand that the economy is in the tank. How do I know things are getting worse and not better? Because Angelinos rarely, if ever, talk about being poor, broke or really anything negative. And lately, I've met new people who, right off the bat, will tell me how they don't have any money.

Yeah no shit.

I mean, we had the perfect storm of problems brewing for years.

As a rule, Americans like to overspend. Credit cards gave us almost unlimited access to nicer-than-we-could-afford vacations, dinners out, clothes, etc. And now all that overspending is catching up with us in a big way.

The real estate bubble, while it certainly has burst (is bursting), created unaffordable housing and rents, especially in 'hot' areas like Southern California. And yet wages for many have remained the same, increased *slightly* or even decreased (thank you recession).....So you do the math - unaffordable housing and flat, stagnant or decreasing wages. Plus increasing prices for everything from food to health care to gas and how is anyone supposed to have any money right now?

Yes, the LA Times reported yesterday that this is the worst recession we've seen in 60 years. 60 years people! To many of us, it feels like a depression.

And despite talk of things getting better, they are in fact, still getting worse. Maybe not as bad as before...but this is the time for the entrepreneur - to be creative in ways to make money in non-traditional ways.

Friends of mine are selling clothing in the Avon/Mary Kay/tupperware fashion. Or doing web design or Internet SEO. Or house sitting, dog walking, selling things on ebay, doing matchmaking, you name it, to survive these days. Good for them! We need more creative businesses right now that meet people's needs - not more corporate jobs.

But my real point to this blog entry is not to complain. Because there is only so much we can do right now.

What we do not need is people freaking the #$@* out.

You sure do see someone's true colors when things get bad.

I've had more people snap at me lately than ever before -- even online on services like facebook. Facebook, yes, the place I go for fun. Maybe I post too much, I don't know, if you don't want to read my facebook updates or for me to comment on your status updates, then you probably should de-friend me right now. I mean, what's the point of a status update if people can't comment on it? Now I try not to comment on people's updates often if I don't know them that well....but oftentimes I feel like saying something, especially if a post was clever, interesting or what not.

Snappy, snappy, snappy.

I guess I shouldn't take it personally.

I've had work contacts basically tell me to "f off" on facebook recently, for no apparent reason. I mean, Jesus, don't lash out at someone, online, in a public forum, without at least giving someone a head's up that you've been pissing them off.

Oh well.

I know everyone's drama has way more to do with their own @#&% than anything I've said or done to them.

But still.

If things are going that badly for you in your personal life, maybe you shouldn't be on a public site like facebook.

Take a deep breath, go for a run, have a beer, sit and watch some TV, hit the beach, read a book, take a yoga class but DO NOT freak the #@^%$ out, especially on me.

I like to consider myself tapped into the news and what's going on online but I also certainly can't be expected to know everything either. People talk about online charities and web sites and technology like it's the alphabet. Hello people. I may spend an hour at night on facebook but that doesn't mean I know that some charity got started for someone's sick child. I'm not God. I'm just a person, trying to survive in a crazy economy in this music business.

'nuff said.

Hope you are well!