Why I complain

Complaining is bad.

Complaining attracts other complainers.

I shouldn't complain.

However, is it just me?

It seems that most people I know complain.

Is that bad?

It would probably be better to just focus on the good things.

However, it just seems to be such an easy thing to fall back on.

Like eating a pop tart for breakfast instead of fruit.

It's just easier and a bit more fulfilling.

But I don't think I complain because I am unhappy.

Sometimes that may be the case.

However I think I complain often because I'm a perfectionist.

I know it's silly.

Silly to expect life can be perfect.

But I think, somewhere at the root of my complaining, is this desire (or should I say this unrealistic desire) to make everything in my life perfect.

As in:

today would have been perfect, if it weren't for the traffic on the 405
today would have been perfect, if that crazy artist hadn't emailed me
today would have been perfect. if....

I still am trying to complain less because really, what does complaining get you?

Usually negative people complain and complainers are negative people.

And successful people often don't complain - after all would you want to be around YOU all day? A complaining, unhappy person?

Or someone who is happy, upbeat, and that loves life?

Why do people complain? 2 reasons (thanks to Derek)

My friend Derek Sivers is brilliant! Yup.

I was trying to figure out the other day why so many people complain. And I'll admit, I'm guilty of it also....

Derek had the most amazing observation.

He said that people complain for 2 reasons:

1. They are in a situation they don't know how to get out of. And want advice/help on how to do it. i.e. I'm so in debt, I don't know what to do.

2. They know what to do, but they are too lazy to do anything about it.

# 2 is the only that really hit me like a bolt of lightning.

How amazingly true.

And then it hit me why # 2 was particularly frustrating.

Because it's easy to listen to a friend going through something rough. Maybe they are having marital problems. Or money problems.

But the thing is, almost any problem in life is fixable.

Even money problems.

Clearly, if you're that much in debt, you either need to:

1. Move to a cheaper apt/house/party of town/state
2. Get a better job
3. Cut down on expenses
4. A combo of all of the 3 above

I have no sympathy for lazy people.

And I bet neither do you.

So the next time you complain about something - think about why you're complaining.

Is it reason # 1 or # 2?