Sunday, December 5, 2010

A blog about drugs - dedicated to all my friends that smoke

I want to start out by saying that I have no judgment against anyone that smokes, drinks or takes drugs. However, after years of wondering why so many of my "friends" in LA are flakey, I finally figured it out.

Part of it is the urban sprawl - of course you have to drive EVERYWHERE in Los Angeles so people flake, I think, because they are often too lazy to get in their car and drive 30-45+ minutes each way just to see you. And park, blah, blah, blah. I get it.

But so many of my friends just act weird and abnormal when I hang out with them - and for no apparent reason.

It's the kind of weird that they probably aren't even aware of.

Ok, so have you ever been somewhere - maybe a bar or a party where you were the designated driver, or just weren't drinking that night for some reason? And you watch all the drunk people around you acting like total idiots. Now being drunk - that's fine and when you're drinking with friends, everyone seems fun. But drunk people don't seem so cool - not to the sober person, right?

Well, let me let you in on a little secret.

If you don't smoke pot, living in Los Angeles can feel like being the designated driver all the time.

Now let me be clear - I'm fine with people who smoke. No judgment. That's a personal / lifestyle choice. It's not for me -- but I can see why others may partake in this activity.

But just so you know, if you're one of my friends who smokes weed, it sucks for me (and likely for your other friends) who don't.


Because you may not think it affects you, but it does.

My friends often get spacey while I'm talking to them, act weird, forget to call me back, forget what they told me 2 seconds ago (or what I just told them), or repeat what I said 2 seconds ago as a new thought of their own, forget to do things they say they'll do over and over again and generally act like not very good friends.

Ok, that's maybe an unfair statement.

They are still good friends but maybe operating at 80% of their true friend potential.

And who wants 80% of anything?


I get it.

It's an escape.

And maybe there is something in your life you need escaping from. Problems at work. Or with your significant other (or lack thereof). Or to wind down from a stressful day. Blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry but life sometimes is just sucky and to me, constantly smoking pot to escape reality is just not a solution that makes any sense. Numbing yourself to the pain or loneliness or whatever doesn't solve anything - it's just a temporary fix.

I rather feel every moment of every day of my life than to go through life under the influence of some drug, especially one that makes you behave poorly over and over and over again. Because, quite honestly, I tend to have lot more fun sober than even after a glass of booze.

But that's me.

Clearly, I'm in the minority here, at least living in Los Angeles where I swear at least 1/2 of my friends smoke.

So I guess this is just a plea to any of my friends that DON'T smoke pot, can we please hang out more?

Because I need more normal in my life.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Advice for single men #1 - How to Tell if a Woman Likes You

So I suppose it's time I confess a secret. Something my good friends know but many other people don't.

I used to run a speed dating company.

And while you'd think that should make me some kind of dating expert, well, it doesn't.

No, actually, it helped a lot and I've also dated a lot and have learned quite a bit about what men should and shouldn't do on dates.

So here are some tips for you single men out there.

Topic # 1 - How to Tell If a Woman Likes You

1. If a woman likes you, she'll probably seem a little odd on dates with you. Maybe she won't talk very much. Or seem distracted. Now you have to pay attention because if she's distracted she might also "just not be that into you" but if she seems nervous or "off" in some way I'd say there's a good chance she likes you. After all, don't you get nervous around women that you like and are attracted to? Bingo!

The opposite of this can also be true. If a woman is very friendly, engaging, is asking questions about you and is generally a good date, she might like you. Or, she may just have no attraction to you so she treats you like any of her other male friends or girlfriends and acts "normal" because she isn't attracted to you so she can just "be herself."

2. If a woman gets dressed up to go on dates with you, there is a good chance she's into you. Ok, I admit, I'm writing this from my own experience and maybe there are a lot of women out there who will get all dolled up just because they like to get dressed up no matter who they are seeing. But men, let's face it. Doing our hair, make-up, putting together outfits is a tiring process for women too so it's likely we're only going to do this if we like you. Of course, a first date isn't very telling because we want to make a good first impression, we may get dressed up, find out you're a dud, and then wish we'd shown up in jeans a t-shirt but if a woman dresses up on dates #2-200 you know she's probably into you.

3. The flip side of this is, if a girl often just wears jeans and a t-shirt around you, she probably just considers you a friend. Well, either that or she just likes to be comfortable. I definitely fall into that category but in general, the more casual she looks, the less she's probably into you.

4. Is she flirting with you? Does she play with her hair or act playful and flirty in any way? Chances are, she's either got low self-esteem and flirts with EVERY guy or she's into you. You choose! If she touches your arm or hand or any part of you, that's a VERY good sign.

5. Pay attention to her body language. Is she leaning in towards you? Making eye contact? Are her legs faced toward you or away from you? Is she not looking around at other people in the restaurant or wherever you are? If so, these are good signs.

Now, at the end of the day, every woman is different.

My friend just emailed me saying she plays with her hair "all the time" so it doesn't mean anything for her.

But, you'll find, if you pay attention, you'll probably get some clues during your date as to whether or not the girl likes you!