Friday, July 8, 2011

Hell hath no fury

Ok, I should probably admit right now that I'm a little bit drunk. But, so be it.

The truth hurts.

I have a story to tell.

Let's start, oh, say three years ago.

I call on a lot of people for my job. That's what I do.

One day, roughly three years ago, I called on a new music supervisor.

Over the course of the next two and a half to three years, we became friends. I would call him and "shoot the sh#t" as they call it, and he would invite me out to dinner or a show or some other such fun activity.

Well, that's not all the details actually.

The first time we met was at a wine bar. Bodega Wine Bar in Santa Monica to be specific.

Now, someone you meet through "work" doesn't usually suggest a first meeting at a wine bar unless they are trying to check you out, right?

So we meet at said wine bar.

Like most first dates, I'm not overly impressed. Nice guy but no chemistry. And he's too young to boot.

But, like a good person, I continue the night until it ends fatefully in front of the wine bar with a drunken smooch and goodbye.

I never hear from him again.

Until the appropriate amount of time lapses.

I call again.

For work.

This goes on for years.

But I dismiss any amount of him paying me compliments of "you're beautiful" to LA bravado.

Flash forward two and a half years into this "relationship."

We're at "Phantom of the Opera" - just another "just friends" thing. Except, this time, walking back to the car after the show, he put his jacket on me.

Now, this is a move I don't often see unless a guy is into you. I mean, I have PLENTY of guy friends. PLENTY. And none of them do this, as chivalrous as they are!

So anyhow, I think something is up.

I'll spare you all the excruciating details but let's just say this relationship progresses to the point where we're out one night and I get the "I'm INTO you" speech. And not just the "I want to date you" speech but the, "I want this to be a SERIOUS relationship" speech.

So, I say, given our past rocky history, I must proceed cautiously.

And I do.

Yet, two months into the relationship, we're out to drinks and he asks if I want to be "an item." I brush it off, thinking, "it's too soon" and realizing that I need to make sure this guy is really serious about me.

I get sweet text messages. I get "I miss you" texts and beautiful flowers over the holidays while he is home visiting his parents on break.

Flash forward to March of 2011.

All is lovely.

I am in love and on vacation in Hawaii for two weeks by myself, visiting my mother and just trying to relax from the insanity of Los Angeles.

Now, there is an earthquake in Japan and I'm out to dinner with my mother when I get, not one not two, but three text messages from friends in Los Angeles asking me if I'm, "ok?"

Ummm, yeah, sure, why wouldn't I be?

Oh, I see.

Because the tsunami generated from the massive Japan earthquake is headed to Hawaii.

I'm at dinner at some Pho place and while no once seems to be freaking out (just yet) I start to worry and feel like I'm about to star in some horrible Michael Bay film about the end of the world.

Anyhow, I call my "almost" boyfriend that night because he said his parents were also in Hawaii during this time and I wanted to make sure he told them about the impending tsunami/disaster....mind you, I've never met his parents...but I care about him and certainly didn't want his parents to get hurt (or possibly die - perhaps a bit overdramatic but it happened in Thailand) so I called him even though it was probably 1 or 2 am LA time.

No response.

Not even in the morning.

So I wake up, after a very poor night's sleep of sirens and police bull horns going off all night and ongoing messages over the hotel loudspeaker all night saying, "DO NOT LEAVE THE HOTEL." This is some scary s#it. I feel like I'm in Pearl Harbor or at the very least, starring in "Pearl Harbor: The Remake."

So, the morning comes, no call.

I call him to see what's up.

I say, "hey, we had a massive tsunami warning and were locked in our hotels all night. I called you to warn your parents." Instead of concern or asking how I'm doing, I get a, "umm, I didn't know there was a tsunami warning, I don't watch the news." Which I buy. For two seconds until I remember I called him in the middle of the night to warn his parents -- so he KNEW there was a tsunami warning because I fuc#ing told him.

Instead of getting concern or an, "Oh no, how are you doing?" I get a completely out of the blue "Sorry, but we need to break up because I'm quitting my job and going back to grad school in the fall" talk.

Yes, all this the day after a massive tsunami warning and as I'm packing up my stuff as I need to move hotels this morning (yes, this of all mornings.)


What the fu#k?

You never told me you were even thinking about grad school, much less quitting your job, much less going back to school in Texas!

And what about US?

But I don't have time to debate this as I literally have twenty minutes to check out of my hotel room.

I spend the next two weeks of my vacation (as I'm literally just a couple days into my two week trip when the tsunami "almost" disaster arrives, just balling my eyes out because 1) I'm in Hawaii all alone 2) I really thought at times that night of the tsunami that I might die and this "could be it" 3) I just got broken up with from 3,000 miles away from a guy who said he wanted to "be serious" and not spend any vacation time apart after this. This was a guy I actually saw a future with and I thought could be "the one."

Flash forward to, well, fucking tonight.

I'll spare you all the details about how many times I've cried about this guy over the past 3-4 months, since the "tsunami breakup" as I'd like to call it.

In fact, if you're my dad, my mom, my friend Sara, Kathryn, Michael, Kaz, Jamie, Lesley, Jeannie or any of my other close friends, you know what's been going on because I've likely been crying my eyes out to you over the past 3-4 months.

But, suffice it to say, when you spend all your free time supporting the guy you've been dating by going to see his musical not once, not twice, but five fucking times, and going to countless parties where you don't know a soul and making nicey nice for literally dozens upon dozens of hours simply because you care about someone, you suddenly wake up one day (today?) and realize that the person you're in love with, the person you've been dating for the past 8 months is nothing but a self-absorbed, lost, narcissistic, selfish asshole who cares about no one really but himself.

He promised me, after months of me almost begging and pleading for his help, to give me one day to help me move some of my stuff from storage into my apartment.

Now, let me tell you, Los Angeles has got to be the only city where you can have "friends" and exist for 18 months and have not one person offer to help you move your shit except Kathryn. Yes, my friend Kathryn is the only person in my life who was kind and giving enough of a friend and person to help me move some stuff out of storage.

Anyhow, I digress.

I get today.

Well, yesterday.

Thursday was supposed to be "my" day.

Thursday - where he would help me move things I really need from storage into my apartment.

He said he wasn't scheduling ANYTHING else for the ENTIRE day as it was "all about me" and "helping me" with whatever I needed help with.

Wow, I get one fricking day out of 8 months/3 years when I gave you how much of my free time? Hundreds of hours of ME being emotionally supportive to HIM and also ME helping HIM move his crap for 2 full days just last week in fact.

Yet, after he slept til 10am and then disappeared for "10 minutes" (which turned out to be an hour) to do some personal errands, I got his undivided attention from 11am to 4pm.

I took the day off work to move -- yet he had to schedule his own personal stuff at 4pm.

Did he even think for 2 seconds that that could be inconsiderate to me?

Of course not.


He's moving away. It's stressful. He's really busy. I get it.

But on "my day" he also has time to get a haircut and spend 45 minutes talking to his neighbors for no good reason.

Then we go out to dinner, at 10pm, when we were supposed to eat at 8pm.

When I mention that he didn't give me my entire day, and now he's trying to back out of helping me on Friday now, he gets up and leaves me at fu#king Swingers in the middle of dinner saying, "I'm done."

Oh yeah, buddy?

Well, good for you.

Good for you for being a selfish asshole.

I hope I never see your face .

You are a loser and don't deserve someone as amazing as me.

But, the last guy that treated me this badly, well, he lost his house, his dad, his business and his sister almost died.

I can't wait to see what's in store for you.

Karma's a bitch.

Good luck spending the next week on vacation instead of living up to your promises and being a decent human being.

No one in LA is going to miss you.

Oh, did I mention that he told me he "didn't love me" and "didn't see a future" with me just days after insisting I meet not just his parents but his entire family? And not just meet them - but spend an entire weekend with them? And sleep over at their beach house?

You pretended to be a decent person when in reality all you did at your job was look out for yourself and other ways to leverage your position into making more money for yourself. You drink too much, smoke too much pot and would oddly rather spend time with some dude working on a musical for 3+ months than with a great girl who really cares about you and treats you well. Hmmm.

And if that isn't enough, your lack of concern or 'paying attention' caused you to almost KILL a bicyclist a few weeks ago when you opened your car door without looking.


But, I suppose I shouldn't complain all that much. Despite your lack of concern or compassion for others, you did take me out to a lot of nice dinners. Too bad what I really needed was someone who was there for me emotionally and would (could?) sit still for even one evening at home -- instead of booking every free waking moment of one's day with bull#hit activities that just weren't important - like racquetball and basketball at 6am.

Have fun living at home with your @#4ing parents while the rest of us are working real jobs and trying to take care of each other like decent human beings.

You couldn't do it, could you?

Helping me for geez, all of 5 hours (which included a lunch break) was just too much for your selfish little self to handle - so you had to end things? You only moved 2 car loads of stuff. Geez.

So glad you're not coming back.

So glad!