Thursday, August 13, 2009

Has anyone "defriended" you on facebook?

Ha, so in my continuing saga of crazy people in LA, I noticed that 2 of my ex-friends have defriended me on facebook. Actually, 1 on facebook and one on facebook & twitter.


Anyhow, I find it amusing and a bit ironic that the person that went crazy, yelling at ME for no reason, would defriend me. Wow, really? I believe that's what we call "delusional". Why is it that when you try to help someone, you're the one that somehow ends up feeling like they did something wrong? Oh yeah. Because "friends" in the entertainment business know the lame trick of "pass the blame" to escape responsibility when they dropped the ball. Oooh that's so clever. I'm at fault and a bad person because you f'd up. Riiiight....anyhow, back to reality....

And the other ex-friend?

Well, she might have more of a reason to be pissed.

Sure, not too long ago we were such good friends that we went on vacation together. Hell, she took the photo that is my facebook profile photo...and while on vacation, she was super sweet and amazing. But that was while we were out of LA and I was a guest on vacation in her home state.

What I just couldn't deal with anymore was the constant reminder than any conversation we had was 95% about her and 5% about me. Yeah, sweetie, friendships are 2 way streets. And really, I don't mind listening to you talk a lot. I talk a lot to other friends so I figure it all balances out!

Yet what I DO mind is when I listen to someone talk for hours and then they suddenly have to get off the phone when it's your turn to chat or share your thoughts, ideas, problems, etc.

Friendship is a two way street.

Sure, many friendships may be unbalanced.

I know I have friends where they probably listen to me and are there for me WAY more than I am there for them (sorry Michael ;) But then I do that for other friends and so the cycle continues...

And when you compound that with a friend who rarely wants to go out because they are constantly tired, poor and depressed, well, how would you deal with a friendship like that?

And then you get yelled at when you don't invite a friend out to a party on a school night when you know they go to bed at 8pm most nights. Yes, 8pm. Or 9pm. And they bitch about everything so why would you invite them to a party on a school night where there would likely be "no hot guys" for your friend to talk to and then you'd just have to listen to her bitch the whole night about it. No, I chose to take a happier, more cheerful friend to the party. Hmmm. So sue me.

No fun.

And then they defriend ME? Yeah ok.

I am actually happier these days having less friends in my life but not being flaked on and not having to listen to someone else's crap for hours only to have them turn a deaf ear when I need a shoulder to cry on. And not having to be around someone's crummy attitude all the time. Hey, I guess it's a good thing I'm not married, eh? ;)

What do you think?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Why are there so many crazies in LA?

At this point in my life, I've pretty much given up the thought of making any new girlfriends.

Sure, many of the friends I've made over the years, both men and women, have been through the entertainment business.

And lately, it seems, I keep cutting out the women in my life.

They are too flakey, too depressed, too self-absorbed, too crazy or too weird.

It wasn't always this way.

And sure, I still have some great women in my life. And perhaps have made a new friend or two recently - so we'll see.

And yes, those 2 new girlfriends (status pending) do not work in entertainment. And they seem really nice and normal and down to earth.

It's odd but I'm finally coming to terms with and accepting this fact.

It's better to be alone, to have few friends, or even no friends, than to have flakey, self-absorbed, crazy friends.

There are always exceptions to the rule.

Maybe this is just what happens when you get older. In any city.

I shouldn't blame Los Angeles.

I just think that Los Angeles has always attracted strange people.

Like when I spoke at an intern panel at a local university.

The most "normal" students, sad to say it, even at a panel on the entertainment industry, went to talk to the recruiter who was hiring interns in the legal department at the studio.

I got the weirder ones.

Oh well.

It is what it is.

Finding people that care about you. Maybe that's difficult anywhere.

I'd have far less friends somewhere else.

Perhaps at the end of the day it's not at all about quantity but quality. I should be lucky to have 2-3 good friends in Los Angeles. The other 20-30 "friends"? Even though we used to hang out or talk on a regular basis. They get married or move away or just plain lose interest. People move on in their lives.

Maybe it's time for me to do the same.