Part of it is the urban sprawl - of course you have to drive EVERYWHERE in Los Angeles so people flake, I think, because they are often too lazy to get in their car and drive 30-45+ minutes each way just to see you. And park, blah, blah, blah. I get it.
But so many of my friends just act weird and abnormal when I hang out with them - and for no apparent reason.
It's the kind of weird that they probably aren't even aware of.
Ok, so have you ever been somewhere - maybe a bar or a party where you were the designated driver, or just weren't drinking that night for some reason? And you watch all the drunk people around you acting like total idiots. Now being drunk - that's fine and when you're drinking with friends, everyone seems fun. But drunk people don't seem so cool - not to the sober person, right?
Well, let me let you in on a little secret.
If you don't smoke pot, living in Los Angeles can feel like being the designated driver all the time.
Now let me be clear - I'm fine with people who smoke. No judgment. That's a personal / lifestyle choice. It's not for me -- but I can see why others may partake in this activity.
But just so you know, if you're one of my friends who smokes weed, it sucks for me (and likely for your other friends) who don't.
Why?
Because you may not think it affects you, but it does.
My friends often get spacey while I'm talking to them, act weird, forget to call me back, forget what they told me 2 seconds ago (or what I just told them), or repeat what I said 2 seconds ago as a new thought of their own, forget to do things they say they'll do over and over again and generally act like not very good friends.
Ok, that's maybe an unfair statement.
They are still good friends but maybe operating at 80% of their true friend potential.
And who wants 80% of anything?
***
I get it.
It's an escape.
And maybe there is something in your life you need escaping from. Problems at work. Or with your significant other (or lack thereof). Or to wind down from a stressful day. Blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry but life sometimes is just sucky and to me, constantly smoking pot to escape reality is just not a solution that makes any sense. Numbing yourself to the pain or loneliness or whatever doesn't solve anything - it's just a temporary fix.
I rather feel every moment of every day of my life than to go through life under the influence of some drug, especially one that makes you behave poorly over and over and over again. Because, quite honestly, I tend to have lot more fun sober than even after a glass of booze.
But that's me.
Clearly, I'm in the minority here, at least living in Los Angeles where I swear at least 1/2 of my friends smoke.
So I guess this is just a plea to any of my friends that DON'T smoke pot, can we please hang out more?
Because I need more normal in my life.
1 comment:
I don't think the "designated driver" thing is totally true. It all depends on who you hang out with. Jim and I used to go to shows and bars in L.A. all the time. We never drank (apart from maybe one beer) or smoked and we never felt left out and always had a good time. If you don't want to feel like the designated driver, hang out with people who don't get drunk or smoke pot. They're out there, but they may not be in your current circle of friends. If not, change your circle.
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