I went to see Iliza Shlesinger a few weeks ago. (She's the comedian that won last season's "Last Comic Standing").
Anyhow, her routine was pretty funny.
But the best part was where she said, "Dating is tough in every city, every place. Trust me, it's not the city you're in, it's YOU."
Hmm, is that true?
I mean, having lived on both the east coast and the west coast I can certainly attest to this fact.
When I dated in Connecticut, it was difficult because it's a small state. There just weren't very many available single men in their 20's to chose from. I was convinced that every guy in Connecticut was either 1) in high school or college, or 2) in their 30's and already married and with kids.
Because if you're 20 something, you probably want to live in either 1) a city where there are a lot more young people and a variety of things to do 2) a city or town where it's cheaper to live.
Connecticut isn't the cheapest place to live, that's for sure.
Then I dated in New York City. A lot. The largest city in all the 50 states, you certainly can't live here and complain there is no one to date or go out with. I dated everyone from teachers who taught in public schools to guys who just moved to the city from Kentucky. I think I had my first bourbon or some other god awful liquor from that date. All the men I met were gentlemen and every single one took me out to dinner on our first date (or lunch) except I think the Kentucky guy who must have taken me out for drinks.
Anyhow, then I moved to Los Angeles.
"Great," I thought to myself. "All these good looking, single guys to choose from".
If I knew then, what I know now.
Yeah, there are TONS of great looking guys in LA because they are all unemployed actors. Ok, not all of them. But many of them.
I think after my 5th date in Los Angeles, I gave up.
Not physically gave up dating.
But emotionally? Maybe...
I finally met a guy who offered to buy me dinner on our first date.
Before "Ben" let's call him, I had a series of cheapie coffee and drink first dates and I'm not even sure if they always paid but I think they might have? It was a long time ago...
So we went for Thai food at "Toi Sunset". A bit of a shady part of town 10 years ago but I was so impressed at this guy's class for taking me out to dinner, even if it was cheap Thai.
Anyhow, I was impressed with my date. He was just as cute in person as he was in his photo. Of course, 2 hours later, when he started comparing the women he dated on a scale of "1 to 10" I knew something had gone horribly wrong.
Sure, at this point, we obviously 1) had determined we weren't a love match 2) were comfortable enough with each other to talk about our ex's....or at least he was.
But still, technically, we're on our first date, and I'm thinking to myself, "He's comparing women to numbers".
And the worst part was, the whole dinner conversation was about this ex he dated when he lived in New Jersey who was a 9, but he broke up with her because he wanted, he deserved, he should have a 10. Right? I mean, he was a good looking guy, I'll grant you that, but he wasn't exactly Brad Pitt either.
You broke up with a 9... and regret it now because you've dated a 10 and discovered she wasn't "all that"... but now you can't get back the 9 that you might still be in love with... or even an 8 and you're telling me this while technically we're still on a date and the bill hasn't even been paid yet....
Anyhow, no damage to my self-esteem, the guy was an actor and obviously had some *major* issues...but still.
After that experience, I pretty much gave up hope for finding a nice, smart, honest, sane guy in this city.
So why am I single?
I don't know.
It's not for lack of trying.
And lord knows, I've never been one of those people who could date just to date...if the chemistry isn't there, I just can't pretend....
So I sit here, watching as more and more of my friends and people in my life couple off.
And a lot of them are not any more attractive, sane or fun than I am (and no, I'm not talking about you if you're reading this). Ha ha.
So why am I single?
I don't know.
Too picky perhaps?
As Iliza would say, it's not Los Angeles.
So it must be me....